It All Begins With Monday...

April 18th... a normal day of normal routine. A day that I woke up, got ready for work and went about my day. It wasn't any different from any other day. I loved on some of my favorite little kidos. The only thing about this what I call "normal" day is that it was a Monday. Yuck... now there aren't too many things in this world that I just absolutely can not stand... but when someone says the word Monday... I cringe. Dreaded Monday...coming off of what is usually an amazing weekend...Monday the beginning of the week...Monday...makes Friday look so far away. When I was in college Monday meant... getting up at 7:00 to go to class at 7:30... then to FINALLY end my day at 9:30pm...when my last class was over. I have never been a fan of Monday's. Monday brings bad new... So what was so different about Monday, April 18th...well when I woke up (late might I add)... I felt a little strange... a little off kilter... I didn't even take a shower (okay really you act like you haven't taken a shower in the morning)...I came into work... not wanting to. I didn't talk to anyone unless I had to. I sat at my desk for about 4 minutes and cried...for no reason at all...I told myself to buck up and get on with what you have to get done. Something didn't feel right. That whole day I could have been nicer to people but I wasn't...things were just strange... a strange where you knew something was wrong but you had NO idea what that "wrong" was. So instead of trying to really figure it out I went about my day. At 3:00 I told myself that I needed to call my mom and dad to make sure everything was okay at home...so I decided that I would call right before our churches young adult small group. Well I never made that phone call...I didn't have a chance...

My friend Stephanie and I decided to go to Chick-Fil-a before small group...we arrived there at 6pm and as I am getting out of my car my phone rings... The worse conversation I have ever had with my mom happened within the next 40 seconds. "Kendra. Hey mom umm what's going on? Are you alone? No mom what's going on? I need to know who is with you. My friend Stephanie why mom...what's going on? Who is Stephanie? Mom it doesn't matter right now... WHAT IS GOING ON? Kendra... Your dad is gone. What mom?...Where did he go?... No you aren't understanding what I am saying... I came home from work and found him laying on the kitchen floor dead." (The words Dad and dead where used in the same sentence...that isn't supposed to happen). The next moments still play out in my mind. As I literally fell to the ground I yelled, "WHAT! WHAT! YOU ARE KIDDING ME! MOM TELL ME YOU ARE KIDDING ME! Kendra I'm not kidding you. NO MOM NO! THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING! Kendra... calm down, we are going to get through this... you need to find a way home. Ok mom I'll be home soon... I love you so much and I am so sorry."

As I tried to figure out how to get home and get all of my stuff together... thoughts flooded my mind... my dad is dead, Kendra you are fatherless, who is going to walk you down the isle, how am I going to live life without him, who will take care of my mom, I should have called him, why didn't I call him. I have to say that I have amazing people in my life, Sarah, Tom, Derek, Stephanie, Mo and Doug. In those moments I don't know what I would have done if they would not have been at my finger tips.

Doug and Mo took me to my apartment and stayed there until I packed up my stuff. They also met some family half way. When I reached Lynn and Judy I was numb... I have always heard people say, "I need to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming." In those moments I remembered that phrase so I took my knuckle and didn't pinch myself but I bit my knuckle... it hurt so I KNEW it was not a dream...really not a nightmare.

It was now 9pm and I hadn't eaten since 11:15 that day... So we stopped at McDonald's... not the best choice when your body is in total shock. I went a head and drank my small water and ate half of my cheeseburger. Then I realized that my mouth was watering, I was getting hot and I had a knot in my throat. Something was happening and I couldn't stop it even if I tried...Vomit...all down the front of me. I tried to catch it in my small cup... smart thinking right?... not when the cup overflowed. Judy says, "just let it out." I then start to cry saying, "I just want my daddy."

Thoughts flooded back to when I was little... I was sleeping on the top bunk of the beds and my dad heard me making vomit noises. He sprung up out of bed, grabbed me and realized that he wasn't going to make it to the bathroom so he cupped his shirt and let me vomit into his shirt. That was the kind of loving father I had... a man who would cup his shirt for his daughters vomit. In those moments I wanted my daddy there to comfort me and tell me that I was okay and that he would take care of me. But he wasn't there...

We stopped at Lynn and Judy's so that I could take a shower and get cleaned up. When I was done we headed back to mom and dad's. I walked through the door...numb, lifeless and in total shock. All I wanted to do was she my dad sitting there. My mom grabbed me... hugged me and we sobbed. I then looked at two of the most sweetest children that I knew... Ethan and Abby my nephew and niece... there hearts were so broken... I saw it all over their little faces...they didn't have to say a word. My heart had just been torn out of my chest! That night I continued to have dry heaves.

I continued to pray to Jesus that there would be some way that he would raise my dad from the dead just like he did Lazarus. The days a head were the worse days that I have ever had.

The worse week ever... and that week started with a Monday...