A letter to Pops...
Hey Pops... you need to know that so much has happened this past year in my life...without you physically but I know you have been with me...because I carry a piece of you where ever I go. I am learning to overcome my own selfishness... I am learning to not call you first for some things in life...instead go to my heavenly father... I have learned what grieving really means. I am learning that you and mom both raised me to be a strong person...and to show my weaknesses. Some nights are harder then others...and it is still so hard for me to believe that you are gone. There are days where I miss your laugh, your hugs, your voice and our chats...always ending in "I Love You." I got through my first ever leading of VBS...and directing our district Kids Camp...without talking to you about how it went. Now dad... I am coming up on my credentials interview for ordination. I am a little nervous but it hurts to know that I can't talk to you about it. If they approve me for ordination...your buddy...J.K Warrick will be ordaining me. I am so blessed by this...because of who he was in your life... crazy to think that he dedicated me...and now he will be the one to ordain me. God is taking care of me dad... providing my every need and giving me my hearts desires. Remember Evie...of course you do...I went out with her grandson 3 months ago...and we have been talking ever since... God is leading...and directing. Crazy where life brings you. In 8 days we will be celebrating your life...I am trying to stay positive in this... but I am not going to lie...it hurts...it stings and frankly I am still not okay with you not being here!
I still love you dad...
While I was typing this letter to you...this song by David Crowder came on Pandora... Like I said...God is taking care of me:
Deliver me out of the sadness
Deliver me from all the madness
Deliver me courage to guide me
Deliver me Your strength inside me
CHORUS:
All of my life
I've been in hiding
Wishing there was someone just like You
Now that You're here
Now that I've found You
I know that You're the One to pull me through
Deliver me loving and caring
Deliver me giving and sharing
Deliver me this cross that I'm bearing
Oh, deliver me
Jesus, Jesus how I trust You
How I've proved You o'er and o'er
Jesus, Jesus precious Jesus
Deliver me
Come and pull me through
Come pull me through
